Celebrating 60 years!

I am married to the coolest guy. The fact that Steve found me in this crazy mixed-up world is miraculous and I thank God for him everyday. March 15th is Steve’s 60th birthday, a day for which I am most grateful.

From my recent on-line writing class, I found I really enjoyed writing profiles on people. Since last weekend, I have been trying to get Steve to sit down with me so I could write a profile about him turning 60. I had no idea what a difficult task it would be to persuade him to give me an “interview.”

The first day he used a sweet smile to joke his way around the subject. The second day he pulled out the work face and listed off the important things he had to do. I know his time is valuable so I thought I’d be helpful and typed up some questions for him to peruse. This only made it worse. After lots of begging and bribes of chocolate he conceded. The problem then was we couldn’t find a good time to squeeze it in during lunch breaks or between legitimate evening meetings. Even on Thursday night, when he had no where to hide and nothing to do he evaded my nudges to sit down with me. He intently got on-line and said he was looking for math games for Drew (boy, is he good), when he finally digressed to clicking on an internet pop-up to find his high school classmates in Japan, I had to put my foot down.

Steve’s communication style is unlike anybody I have ever interviewed. He was light hearted and funny, yet chose his words carefully when giving the serious reply. I had to wait through long bouts of silence before he spoke. His answers where brief, honest and give a glimpse into his dazzling heart. In my eyes turning 60 years old is significant event and reflecting on life’s lessons and insights are a beautiful thing…sharing it is even better. As to not muddle the message and to stay true to Steve’s style, I have chosen a Q and A format.

What are some highlights of your life?
Travel, being in the room when Noelle was born, my marriage to Tricia…and the bike trip around the Western United States. (It took him three months and he traveled through Oregon, California, Nevada, Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming and Idaho.)

What makes you laugh?
My brother Grant.

What are the top 5 books people should read?
Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Johnathan Liviston Seagull, The Bible, ...my book still unwritten and published…but it's coming, Night, Portrait of a Lady, all books by Lee Child, Mein Kampf (in German), Nelson Mandela’s Long Walk to Freedom, Everything by Dr. Suess…in fact everyone in Hoonah should read the Bitter Butter Battle.Wait, those aren’t even my favorites.

What things couldn’t you live without?
Food and Water
(…before Steve answered this question Andrew whispered in my ear, “I hope he says you, Mom.”)

What is your most treasured possession?
My soul.

Words of Wisdom for your daughter Noelle.
Never give up on the dream.

Words of wisdom for your step-son Andrew
Andrew has so much potential…Andrew as you reach out to embrace all the incredible things you are going to do – do not loose your grip on humility.

Words of wisdom to Tricia
(joking about my strained math skills) There is a parent math skills website….
Hmmmm that I should be so presumptuous as to give you words of wisdom. (I prodded him a bit) You are no good to others unless you are being good to yourself.

Words of wisdom for parents
Children do what you do, not what you say…forever. Be who you want your children to be.

What do you know at 60 that you wish you would have known at 30?
Everything that I know now that I didn’t know then (he gives me a big smile….) OK…I'm serious here (as per Andreas)…Everything is more significant that I thought it was. I really wish I would have known that.

What would surprise people to learn about you?
That I am really a nice guy.

What makes you cry?

Sad movies. Bad movies. Onions when I chop them…when I poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick…

I can see you’re not going to get too emotional…(trying another route) what makes you angry? Not being able to talk about what makes me cry. (he smiles again and I kick him) OK…(taking some time)…when people make false assumptions…not about me, but in general…that makes me very angry.

What does love mean to you?
Responsibility.

How do you want to live out the rest of your life and how has that changed over the years?

It hasn’t changed. My life has never been anything other than my desire to live in a fun, meaningful, significant, contributing and exciting way. That takes into account adventure, experience, traveling and learning new things all the time.

Do you believe in God. Talk about your faith.
Yes, I believe in God. I think about faith differently then most. My faiths resides in the acknowledgment of what I know, instinct…and human instinct evolves. My faith comes from what I have tried, failed at, relied upon. My faith is my optimism wielded to attempt to navigate life.

Are you happy?
Is anybody really happy? That is an unfair question. I can’t be “happy” with the rest of the world in the condition it is in.

Lets take a few steps back then…what is happiness to you?
Happiness is a concept. Until things change a great deal I don’t think it is achievable. Happiness has to incorporate the bigger picture. It is not fair to say, “I’m happy” independent of the grander scheme of things. A person could be colloquially “happy,” but I can’t define it like that. I am not trying to be morose, but I think it is important for me to consider my happiness relative to the most unhappy person on the planet.

What do you hope for the future?
I hope that at some given point, between now and the time I am dead, I can finally communicate the concepts of change that will make a difference in the world, that those communications will not fall on deaf ears. I'm hoping those truths will then manifest to overcome the trivial defects of humanity. We will all take part in creating an environment, a world of “brotherhood,” a place viable for all children…where the dream becomes reality.

What do you know for sure?
That I love you. (He does not toss these words around frivolously…it caught me unawares and it quickly became a teary moment for me.)

What stories do you want your grandchildren to remember you by?
Well, Andrew can tell his kids about the time he barely beat me in the marathon we ran together… when Drew is 27 and I was 80. Noelle…and Andrew; I hope they remember that I tried to help. I tried…I really did.

Thanks Steve for doing this interview with me. You are a very special man and I am fortunate to know you. Thanks for your love and I hope you have a wonderful birthday!